Monster Girl Maker

I’m not wrong am I?

My sister: *worried* mom, what do you think my food will taste like?

My mom: idk you’ll have to try it and see.

Me, right next to them: it’ll taste like food, dummy.

My sister: NO ONE ASKED YOU-

Me: everyone asks me.

My sister: what kind of idiot would ask you?

Me: you.

My sister: NO WHEN HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU

Me: well you always use me as your taste tester, technically you’re asking ME how your food tastes.

*the sibling leaves, defeated*

(I swear she was death staring at me for the rest of the day.)

my new hubby

Where is she when I need her irl :(

“My tiny friend must be handles with care, one strong gust will send them into the air. My tiny friend looks young for their age, but being called “cute” sends them into a rage. My tiny friend wants to be an athlete, too bad their small size makes them easy to beat. My tiny friend protests what I say, but I cannot hear them, they’re too far away.”

My sister: YOU’RE ONE INCH TALLER THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU BRAGGING RIGHTS

Guess who’s buying a bjd because they have no self control and are in love with dolls because they’re so pretty and they love their designs and stuff. That’s right it’s-A-ME MARIO

A lifeguard was fired for doing HIS FUCKING JOB

The lifeguard noticed someone drowning, so he jamp in to save them. The person was literally blue in the face when he saved them, if if weren’t for him, they would be dead.

But to everyone’s surprise, he was fired the next day. You see at this beach every lifeguard has a zone they watch over at the beach. The drowning person was in another lifeguard’s zone. The person working in that zone didn’t notice the drowning person so the lifeguard in question took matters into his own hands. Basically they were suggesting that he let the person drown just because they were in another zone.

Upon hearing about this, all the other lifeguards quit saying that they would rather save lives than follow stupid company rules.

Omg so i saw this tiktok that was like "idc if kids cant controll their age im going to bully them for being 9 anyway"

and so i commented "i can't choose how old i am🥺🥺🥺" yes you can, literally just go change your age (or something like that) which was OBVIOUSLY A JOKE I KNOW YOU CANT CHANGE YOUR AGE

And i only bully 12 year olds who insist they're grown because they're in 7th now

AND THIS PERSON REPLIED TO MY COMMENT LIKE "YOU HAD A CHILDHOOD LET THEM HAVE THEIRS"

first of all, my childhood was shitty 

Second of all, IT WAS OBVIOUS SATIRE. 

AND THEN THEY SAID "ARE YOU FR RIGHT NOW" LIKE 

YES IM DEADASS SERIOUS

IF YOU DON'T LIKE BEING MADE FUN OF FOR BEING 9... JUST STOP. BEING. 9 😭

He did not go through all that effort for me and my cousins to turn out this way

K so my parents are making me go to bed early because its easter tomorrow and i gotta get up early

but my mom let me take a snack to my room ☆

So im currently eating cold rotisserie chicken from walmart off of a washcloth

It has been several hours

i have yet to calm down

Help

I've been All might for a bit.. CHANGING RN!!

my stomach is upsetti spaghetti.

IM FLOATING YO

THIS FEELS SO WEIRD

OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT NEUROTYPICALS FEEL

I'M NOT AWARE OF MY LIMBS IN THE SAME WAY I USUALLY AM

i can still feel my nails in my fingers though

BUT LIKE I'M NOT AWARE OF THE POSITION OF MY ORGANS OR NOTHIN

IM DYING

WHO TOLF ME COFFE WAS A GOOD UDEA HUH

WHO WAS UT 

MY BRAIN IS RUNNIBG SO FAST HELP 

ITS BAD NORMALLY VECAUDR ADHD

BUT IM ON LIKE 20 MILIGRAMS OF CONCERTA AND THE DOCTOR WAS LIKE "YO RIV DONT HAVE CAFFEINE" AND I WAS LIKE SCREW YIU DOCOTR MAB ILL DO WHAT I WANT A

AND SO NOW IM HERE AND DID I MENTION IM DYING 

I KNOW EVERYONE IS LIKE "OOOH COFFEE MAKES ADHD PEIPLE BE SLEEPY" BUT THAT AINT TRUE

I CAN HEAR SMELLS AND TASTE SOUNDS 

my favorite cards of each character

Yay 

Poppipa

Ye, kasumi um, this is one of my fav 3* honestly, i like that it's like..  sparkly and ye

this was my second arisa 4* very cute, i HATE the trained ver though

also my second tae 4*, the trained ver is cute, but the untrained ver is way better

this is legit like.. one of the best rimi cards so far, i like her hairstyle, and how its a 3*

imma be honest... this is literally one of the few saaya cards i own... its meh, only a 3*

wooo

aglow now

the first 3* i ever bought in the michelle sticker exchange, very cute

moca. Thats it (3*)

i know this ain't a popular set, but himari looks so cute in this one (2*)

tomoe posing like kaoru>>>

i feel like tsugumi gets like.. swept under the rug a lot, but whatever, tsugu 2022!! (3*)

hhw

literally one of my dream cards, i actually screeched when i pulled it (3*) ily kokoro

Hagumiiiiii, love her (these 2 are tied, i really couldn't choose) (both 3*)

live laugh love kanon yall, part of the same set as the kokoro card, best 2* 

michelle / misaki. I like this one uh.. thats about it 3*

Pasupare! Yay!

aya, my second 4* of hers, the untrained ver is sooo pretty, plus hagumi has a cameo!

chisato, i really really like this set yo..  so cute (2*)

maya! Not much to say about her (2*)

i wanted this 2* for like soooo long, idk why. (Hina)

eveee my best friend ever, my first 4* of hers. Its even got my favorite colour AND my favorite flower! 

Might do the other bands later idk 

I made me

Uwu (this was a satirical uwu) 

Jesse

crac

Creators of mha: Izuku Midoriya is straight.

Shippers:

my family is watching gardeners world

And monty don isn't fucking there 

Nobody wants you adam frost

Fuck OFF

Just gimme my monty 

Well okay then

now i have a 5/5 roselia... apparently 

شكرًا ، لدي الآن وحش حلال جدًا ليس وحشًا ، إنه مجرد فتاة الآن

I've gotten every "ending" every TRUE ending, every video and every button has been pressed, and no advances to help me figure this out!!

P...plan... Kablooey 

I thought it would be a good idea... but it's just pressing self-destruct... no going back now I guess

I need to stop pressing jump in again. I need to stop.