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Guess who’s buying a bjd because they have no self control and are in love with dolls because they’re so pretty and they love their designs and stuff. That’s right it’s-A-ME MARIO

A lifeguard was fired for doing HIS FUCKING JOB

The lifeguard noticed someone drowning, so he jamp in to save them. The person was literally blue in the face when he saved them, if if weren’t for him, they would be dead.

But to everyone’s surprise, he was fired the next day. You see at this beach every lifeguard has a zone they watch over at the beach. The drowning person was in another lifeguard’s zone. The person working in that zone didn’t notice the drowning person so the lifeguard in question took matters into his own hands. Basically they were suggesting that he let the person drown just because they were in another zone.

Upon hearing about this, all the other lifeguards quit saying that they would rather save lives than follow stupid company rules.

me and eliza hamilton had a slumbie today

We Stayed up all night

And watched midsomar

And engaged in internet discourse 

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you mean when you took selfies with your feet? 

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Omg so i saw this tiktok that was like "idc if kids cant controll their age im going to bully them for being 9 anyway"

and so i commented "i can't choose how old i am🥺🥺🥺" yes you can, literally just go change your age (or something like that) which was OBVIOUSLY A JOKE I KNOW YOU CANT CHANGE YOUR AGE

And i only bully 12 year olds who insist they're grown because they're in 7th now

AND THIS PERSON REPLIED TO MY COMMENT LIKE "YOU HAD A CHILDHOOD LET THEM HAVE THEIRS"

first of all, my childhood was shitty 

Second of all, IT WAS OBVIOUS SATIRE. 

AND THEN THEY SAID "ARE YOU FR RIGHT NOW" LIKE 

YES IM DEADASS SERIOUS

IF YOU DON'T LIKE BEING MADE FUN OF FOR BEING 9... JUST STOP. BEING. 9 😭

Auntie's back but...I am Ryuk

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Good

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NO

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He did not go through all that effort for me and my cousins to turn out this way

K so my parents are making me go to bed early because its easter tomorrow and i gotta get up early

but my mom let me take a snack to my room ☆

So im currently eating cold rotisserie chicken from walmart off of a washcloth

It has been several hours

i have yet to calm down

Help

I've been All might for a bit.. CHANGING RN!!

my stomach is upsetti spaghetti.

IM FLOATING YO

THIS FEELS SO WEIRD

OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT NEUROTYPICALS FEEL

I'M NOT AWARE OF MY LIMBS IN THE SAME WAY I USUALLY AM

i can still feel my nails in my fingers though

BUT LIKE I'M NOT AWARE OF THE POSITION OF MY ORGANS OR NOTHIN

I can’t spell restraunt so from now on I’m just gonna type food place

Restaurant

I like food place better. And I’m just gonna forget. It keeps happening with the word literally it’ll happen for resteraunt.

restAUrant

SCREW YOU

IM BEING HELPFUL

when you read it out loud

instead of saying ER, say AU

RestERant or restAUrant

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IM DYING

WHO TOLF ME COFFE WAS A GOOD UDEA HUH

WHO WAS UT 

MY BRAIN IS RUNNIBG SO FAST HELP 

ITS BAD NORMALLY VECAUDR ADHD

BUT IM ON LIKE 20 MILIGRAMS OF CONCERTA AND THE DOCTOR WAS LIKE "YO RIV DONT HAVE CAFFEINE" AND I WAS LIKE SCREW YIU DOCOTR MAB ILL DO WHAT I WANT A

AND SO NOW IM HERE AND DID I MENTION IM DYING 

I KNOW EVERYONE IS LIKE "OOOH COFFEE MAKES ADHD PEIPLE BE SLEEPY" BUT THAT AINT TRUE

I CAN HEAR SMELLS AND TASTE SOUNDS 

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my favorite cards of each character

Yay 

Poppipa

Ye, kasumi um, this is one of my fav 3* honestly, i like that it's like..  sparkly and ye

this was my second arisa 4* very cute, i HATE the trained ver though

also my second tae 4*, the trained ver is cute, but the untrained ver is way better

this is legit like.. one of the best rimi cards so far, i like her hairstyle, and how its a 3*

imma be honest... this is literally one of the few saaya cards i own... its meh, only a 3*

wooo


aglow now

the first 3* i ever bought in the michelle sticker exchange, very cute

moca. Thats it (3*)

i know this ain't a popular set, but himari looks so cute in this one (2*)

tomoe posing like kaoru>>>

i feel like tsugumi gets like.. swept under the rug a lot, but whatever, tsugu 2022!! (3*)


hhw

literally one of my dream cards, i actually screeched when i pulled it (3*) ily kokoro

Hagumiiiiii, love her (these 2 are tied, i really couldn't choose) (both 3*)

live laugh love kanon yall, part of the same set as the kokoro card, best 2* 

michelle / misaki. I like this one uh.. thats about it 3*


Pasupare! Yay!

aya, my second 4* of hers, the untrained ver is sooo pretty, plus hagumi has a cameo!

chisato, i really really like this set yo..  so cute (2*)

maya! Not much to say about her (2*)

i wanted this 2* for like soooo long, idk why. (Hina)

eveee my best friend ever, my first 4* of hers. Its even got my favorite colour AND my favorite flower! 


Might do the other bands later idk 

imagine having to cover all 10 of your fingers with crappy plasters just so you can stop messing with your fingernails because it’s an unhealthy habit and you fear you might hurt yourself. Yeah it’s me.

Have you rried the the nail polish that makes urvnames taste gross sobyiu stop biting them

I don’t have it.

oh

Yiu should get some yhem

I heard its very helpful 

thing is, I don’t just bite my nails. I peel them, with my hands.

then uh

Put them in

Like

Get um

Finger... cages 

OOH OOH GET ONE OF THOSE STONWS THAT HAS THE PAINT AND PEEL THAT

I made me

Uwu (this was a satirical uwu) 

(+1)

Jesse

crac

(+2)

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I SWEAR SK8 NEEDS A SSN 2 OR ELSE I WILL LITERALLY JUMP OFF A CLIFF

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IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS “I wang to skate with you for infinity” IS A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

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Creators of mha: Izuku Midoriya is straight.

Shippers:


my family is watching gardeners world

And monty don isn't fucking there 

Nobody wants you adam frost

Fuck OFF

Just gimme my monty 

Well okay then

now i have a 5/5 roselia... apparently 

            

شكرًا ، لدي الآن وحش حلال جدًا ليس وحشًا ، إنه مجرد فتاة الآن

I've gotten every "ending" every TRUE ending, every video and every button has been pressed, and no advances to help me figure this out!!

P...plan... Kablooey 

I thought it would be a good idea... but it's just pressing self-destruct... no going back now I guess

I need to stop pressing jump in again. I need to stop.

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WHY

crac

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS

crac 

u rn


THA LOREEEEE

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YES THA LORE

Ok so it’s all connected. If it’s all connected that means that the anomaly is more than one Mark in the same timeline which weirded out the timeline and made freaky stuff happen which resulted in the universe’s reset which is unavoidable, too many marks completely destroyed the timelines and ruined everything.

A heist with markiplier is obviously taking place in the same universe, there’s even a crystal in the artifact, and the explorer dude played by mark appears in the ending where you freeze yourself forever. If everyone is Mark then that’s it, too many Marks in one timeline.

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am I mark… IS WADE MARK…. EVERYONE IS MARKKKKKKK

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Yep 

(He/him, gay)

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when your friend isn't online so you plant a memory candle to vibe with yourself 


I started watching bojack horseman recently and i know he appears in only 1 episode so far

but neal mcbeal the navy seal is my favorite character ever


bruv- most annoying episode ever, I was just sitting there like “y’all idiots.”

IT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS 

MF JUST TOOK SOME MUFFINS AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE "BOJACK HATES THE MILITARY" 😭

THATS WHY ITS ANNOYING AND HILARIOUS AF THE SAME TIME

IM JUST SO ANNOYED AT IT BUT ITS ALSO LIKE KINDA FUNNY HOW THEYRE IVERREACTING IVER MYFFINS BUT ITS ALSO ANNOYING OK LIKE REALLY ANNOYING 

Agree with me or else. Or else what? Idk, just, I don’t wanna argue. 

(Srry for bad typing, I gots a thumb plaster so I stop biting my nails, sk I don’t hurt myself. It’s a serious problem.)

NAW CAUSE IT WAS LITERALLY OVER MUFFINS

THEY CANCELED HIM OVER MUFFINS OFC IT QAS AN OVERREACTION AND THATS WHY ITS FUNNY

and my boy neal didn't even have dibs, if he really loved those muffins he should've brought them to the bathroom 

Yea-

GUYS SHUT UP! FROM NOW ON, MY NAME ISN'T QUEEN OR NIGHT OR WHATEVER YOU CALL ME IDC, THAT ISN'T MY NAME! I ORDER YOU ALL TO CALL ME, WAIT FOR IT...

AN YOU CAN GET YOUR OWN COOL NICKNAME AT https://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/839#.Ylh-PehBwYE

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LMAO

I am forever calling you Hootie McEyeball from now on

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Don't cry hootie

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Don't-

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Aw man

THIS JUST SOUNDS LIKE MY NORMAL NAME

SCAM

Ripple Pickle!

this is the start of my villain ark

it sounds just like Rible tho :( 

THATS MY ISSUE

LIKE

gimme something cooler not fuckin rible in a different font

someone please give me name suggestion for this due bc olive and whatever my other friend suggested sucks

das a cool ass drawing-

if you don't eat your snack mixes in order of snack why even eat it

oh I like cheddar snack mixes

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Me: *tryna peacefully live my life*

My brain: hey remember the Rengoku vs Akaza fight in Mugen Train?


(I want contacts like Rengoku's eyes...)

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IKR LIKE THEY MAKE US GET ATTATCHED TO HIM AND THEN BOOM OUTTA NOWHERE HE'S DEADED LIKE CMON WHY

Did you know Rengoku was saying "yummy" while eating because he was trained to eat every meal like it was his last... THATS JUST MEAN

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IRK HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO US!!!!!

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